Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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