I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
