Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
