But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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