I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
