She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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