she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
it's great music for shaving your balls
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
