i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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