I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
