Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
