Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
