Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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