Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
