im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
