IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
