You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
