oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just want to make out with him forever
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
