Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
