U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
