My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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