Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Randomize
