so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
