So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
