Whod you bang
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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