Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
