It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
