let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize