Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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