ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
