and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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