It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
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