i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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