FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
