you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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