I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
