Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
