she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
