Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm like, not good at living.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
