yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
