Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
