Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
