You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
