He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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