she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize