Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
