I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i out mim tonsoeep
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