This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
