This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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