On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
