I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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