Banned from zoo.
Again?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
